Thursday, November 12, 2009

it ll be nice walking down, talking while soaking in the atmosphere and the spectacle of a christmas lit and decorated orchard road. on an evening when i wont have to think about work the next day, when i dont have to rush home for dinner or any other appointments. was never one for rushing.

i love the hugs. i love the hand holding. i love the kisses. i love spending time shopping. hanging out. but all these to me now, are representations of being a part of an enjoyable comfort zone. i appreciate them, but all i get is an ecstatic feel from having an exclusive privilege. i would still rather have them than not. but maybe as i grow older or perhaps now i just have a better idea of wad loving is all about or for some other reason i cant think off. i long for the deeper. the undivided attention of engaging spiritually and emotionally, the person hu ll hear about my dreams and hear about my plans, share with me her opinions and tell me likewise. a person hu ll speak into my life cus she loves, cares and wants me to be better. once upon a time, i didnt know this very essence, so i filled my gaps with the physical aspect. now i know. the physical wasnt meant to fill the gaps. it was meant to cover and re-enforce the fillings. like the popiah skin of the popiah. lol. i dont know if its cus we are in the re-enforcing stage. or that the other relationship just seems a tad more meaningful and is more evident of the above description. or maybe. the grass is just always greener. on the other side.

once again. i lament double standards.

but,
i m no one that i should ask,
i m the one who lost my chance.
hu do i have to blame,
but my own foolishness.

well. i ll be making thursday today as fruitful as i can.

1. come up with a list of things to buy when i get my birthday money
2. come up with a list of things i wanna sell when i do the flea market
3. start doing my accounts for this month with regards to my spending since payday 2 days ago and start budgeting for this month's spending and saving
4. go down to great world city and collect as well as pay for my moms present
5. embark on julie's present for when i go to thailand
6. roll out a fitness and diet plan to loose the tummy and carry out the first step in the park at about 5pm in the evening
7. lunch and spend time with my grandma
8. quiet time

off for a short dose of soccer then off to try and be fruitful.

|cowpoo| 9:28 AM|

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